Yoga Journey | Yoga For Health And Joy In Life

I really hoped that this blog will be filled with happy news & useful information about health and recipes.

Now it has become some sort of a little journal for me, writing down the nuances of life and experiences I have had. Yikes… now it is already halfway through January and I am still feeling stuck in 2011. I really hope that the Chinese New Year which is in another few days time will put me in gear for a new me.

Changes are inevitable. Look back, just not so long ago, I never knew or even imagined myself stopping yoga. Yoga was something wonderful that happened to me that gave me so much strength, peace, health and hope. It opened my eyes to many things and allowed me to meet so many people in my life.

Yoga is not only just a physical exercise that we do to strengthen our bodies but also a way of life that we can live. Yoga is about yin & yangs. Yoga is always strength & flexibility, grace & power. Yoga shows us the power within us that we probably will not have known.

Sad to say, I have stopped yoga almost completely. I think it is high time I get back into yoga. With running, hiking, swimming & diving all in the works, I hope this will be a fantastic year for me to keep fit & healthy both mentally & physically. Time to dig out my yoga books!

As far as relationship goes, I am confused & sad. And now we just go out once a week for dinner without even holding hands. He even forgotten my birthday. He asked me way in advance for dinner on Friday because he thought it was my birthday. Now that it’s not, he is going cycling with his colleagues ( whom he sees everyday ). What’s worst is that my best friend asked me to go to her house for chinese new year celebration with him on the following saturday as they have not met him before, he hemmed & hawed & says he’ll see. He has no plans yet obviously as it is still 2 weeks away when I asked him. It is lunchtime on the same day where our other common group of friends are having a birthday dinner celebration for all the January birthday babies. So I really don’t understand why is he doing this? Why is he missing all the occasions that I wanted him to come with me? I thought he was the one but now I am not so sure. I feel now like his ordinary friend. help!

And so the agony continues but being born in this century where we are well connected to the internet, I did a research on why men suddenly get so distant.

WHAM BAM! Answers everywhere!

The best one was from this website which says that

“In the first few months of a new romance, your brain and that of your love interest release a euphoric chemical cocktail that makes you both feel invincible. The term “madly in love” isn’t far off – the brains of people newly in love look just like the brains of people with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

Which is partially why you’re so obsessed with each other.”

BINGO!

“One of the chemicals of your Brain Love Cocktail is called Dopamine, and its effects are much like an opiate – you know, like HEROIN. You feel so alive, and so exuberant, and so HIGH, that you truly don’t need to eat or sleep. It’s absolute bliss. It’s like having chocolate, and margaritas, and shortbread cookies, all at once. Not only that, but your man becomes hormonally just like you.

Suddenly, all he wants to do is talk about his feelings, and connect emotionally, and snuggle with you all the time.”

So true! And as a woman, who wouldn’t feel blissfully happy? This is probably the honeymoon period.

“This combination of factors (not to mention the fact that you’re both on your “best behavior” for a while, always dressing just right, and being extra polite to each other) makes you feel so good together. It’s like living in heaven right here on earth. You’re just sure you’ll feel this way for forever.

But then a little something happens at about the four to six month point. The dopamine stops being released in both of your brains and suddenly the man becomes hormonally like, well… a man!”

Anyway, truth be told, I finally made the call to confront him which he keeps avoiding ( trying to talk to him when he is watching tv is well… frustrating ). I tried my best to let him know that I was feeling upset about him getting distance. Then he got defensive and said I am accusing him.

Haiz, yup, men aren’t wired to see things from women’s perspective. Women keep wanting to connect emotionally which causes men to feel suffocated – this is what I gathered from all the information from the web. Which is why men get withdrawn and freaked out when women try to share their feelings.

Well, according to a article

“… when it comes to emotional withdrawal and distance in a relationship, most men DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND what it is. And therefore they can’t notice it or see it as a problem to address when it comes up.”

And yes, he told me nothing changed. He said he did not change at all.

Finally according to him, he wants his freedom to do things on his own. ( which maybe I really freaked him out by sharing my feelings and hurts )

From what I see, from the beginning until now, 95% of the time, he initiated the going out, dinners etc with me. The only few time I asked him to go out was one with our group of friends for a dinner, 2 family dinners ( recently, of which he has to overtime and did not turn up ) and once to go with me to Sim Lim to buy stuff ( which he says he do not want – recently )

So how is it that I am the one restricting his freedom? All the while, he still goes for his outings with friends to drink wine, look at audio equipment, just to mention a few. When did I stop him from hanging out with his friends?

More on the male thinking :
“The truth is that lots of men have no idea how important sharing feelings, emotions, and experiences are to a relationship…and they honestly don’t have much practice at it either.

So, when a great woman comes along that he could have an amazing time with and get close to And, she starts noticing that he has some emotional shortcomings that he doesn’t have all the answers for, or experience with…Instead of identifying these for what they are (part of his natural “masculine” tendency to pull away and focus in an emotionally uninvolved way), she feels rejected, unappreciated or deadened by it.”

Hence resulting in the slow death to a relationship…

So what am I to do now?… I really do not know.

Today’s his messages reduced to just an afternoon greeting and whether I had lunch. ( usually there will be a good night )

He still owed me 2 more “magic moments” but he seemed to have forgotten about them.

Well, I read about the honeymoon period of the relationship & I was wondering when mine will end. I think it’s over. It seems to be he is taking me for granted.

Sigh.

Used to be that he will read everything I write on facebook, see all my pictures, like them, comment on them. Now no more… seems like he is looking at others postings more.
Used to be that he will read my blog. Now I am guessing no more… this I will know once this is published.
Used to accompany me for runs, now no more.
Used to go to interesting places with me & bringing his camera along to take photos. Now no more.
Used to go do romantic stuff like watching stars, picnic, go eat durians. Now no more. Now, we just go for food & movie….
Used to call me almost every night on the phone. But now it has reduced to just whatapps…. urgh. At least he still whatapps me everyday.

We had a chalet on Christmas day and I borrowed his sleeping bag. Ok right? But no, he told me that I had better to fold back the sleeping bag neatly back. I was pissed. Then I asked him to bring the bag back. And yet he did not seem to get that I was upset with him. It’s bugging me.

Then during Christmas, at his friend’s party, I had to go home early due to work appointment. He sent me to the train and went back to continue party until late. It used to be he will send me all the way home. Then the next day, he did not even tell me what happened the night before.

Just happened he even forgotten that he said to go Sentosa on the 31st Dec but ended up he went and organise a dinner with friends instead ( without even asking me first ). ( Perhaps he was sick a few days before & sick people tend to forget things? hmmm… that’s what women do huh? find excuses for men…) Plus it was the eve of the new year and I spent the countdown alone at home even though I had a boyfriend.

Now quite a few times, I do feel that he no longer missed me as much (he used to want to spend all the time with me) & sometimes he probably isn’t listening to what I am saying. Anyway, during courtship, I was priority… now it’s “priority with terms & conditions” … What’s worst is that now I felt that he puts his friends above me. I don’t know if it’s true but that’s how I felt.

I even posted something on his facebook wall ( a message for the new year ) which he deleted away…and did not tell me about it.

Is my expectation too high?

Or is this normal male behaviour?

Yesterday we went out for dinner. There was this famous beancurd dessert at this place but always long queue. I mentioned that I can try it… then he said “you want you go and queue yourself” ( he had tried it before )….I was really upset. Then I said “then nevermind, then I don’t want to eat.” He sensed I was unhappy and he went to queue to buy.

Then today sat is usually the day we go out. I asked him to go buy something with me. But he said he is meeting his friend and not going out with me. Then I text him about my feelings. No response from him at all. I had to ask if he cant be bothered anymore. Then finally he text to ask why I am so upset. Then I explained to him, to which he just said dun be upset and he was helping friend to move things. Then later on at night, he just text me a message that he is home. That’s all he text me after he knew I was upset. I don’t even get a call any more?

Just feeling so disappointed and upset.

Guilty as charged.

It’s been a while – say 1 month? With things happening on the work front & on the running, yoga has been pushed behind. I am still attempting to do my headstand & handstand on a daily basis but sad to say, I have not been very consistent.

Last month October was a rush. Time went by in a flash – was preparing to go on vacation with my good gal pal to Hanoi & Sapa. Plus with the new relationship status, I have been spending alot of couple time, hanging around each other etc.

And then also training for my marathon – Mizuno Run 10km as well as Newton Run 18km. YES! Me running more than 10km… Imagine that! Several years back, seriously I won’t even consider it. I remembered my very first 10km run with a yoga buddy of mine, Dorothy. We went to run without any training and we ended up getting more than we bargained for – a week of leg pain! And we swore we will never run 10km ever again… well that was then!

Luckily both of us never gave up. It was a funny thing. There was a period of time after our first attempt to run when we sort of lost contact with each other ( that is not hanging out together ). Then this year, strangely we met again at a recent women’s run Great Eastern 10km Run 2010.

Life is really full of unexpected surprises! When I reached the finish line, she was just a few minutes ahead of me!

Aha! Found another buddy to run!

Anyway, we just completed an amazing 18km run at East Coast Park. The weird part was that I was in Vietnam for 8 days prior and I did not do much training except for a weak 6 rounds (2.4km only) in stadium 6 days before the actual day. I think I came in slightly below three hours… 2hrs 59mins! Thanks to my dear for encouraging me all the way… he was with me at all the hydration points – he probably can finish much faster but because he had to wait for me at those points he also ended up slow.

Ok, now is going for the main event, event of the year!!! – 21km Standard Chartered Half Marathon

What’s so good about this event? Well, we get to run through to the Universal Studios at Sentosa! Amazing!

Yoga? Well in fact, I am trying to fit in some yoga poses after my training runs. Research time!

For running or those starting out, please be patient! With consistent training, anyone can run a marathon. The starting point is always the hardest… picking up your butt from the couch and hitting the track – that is the obstacle to overcome! Start small, even if for 10mins. Start running consistently every alternate day or whenever possible. Soon you will be addicted to running when you see physical as well as mental changes in yourself. But remember to always warmup before each run and to warm down and do stretches after each run ( bathe cold water after a long run is good to prevent major muscle aches ) and HYDRATE!

Namaste!